the never ending
The heat of the summer is sinking in to the rafters and wood frame of our house, and while springtime was wet and cold, it feels like we could be in for long hot spells. It’s already work to keep the gardens watered. I’m reminded of the relentless glare over our sun baked hill in Italy, of serving pitchers of watermelon water to the guests by the pool before going in to the shade of our bedroom, the fan in my face. No matter that this is Germany. It’s hot everywhere in the northern hemisphere right now, and we must adjust. The only ones who truly love this are the tomato plants. Which are growing astoundingly well here in a climate where one is meant to have a greenhouse for such plants. None necessary anymore.
I spent a couple of hours in my garden today, deep in thought, as gardening is my meditation time. I wondered to myself about why we are here (no light subjects for me!). Of course, I know that we are here to learn, and that when we do the work, we then get the reward of having to learn more. It can be as relentless as the sun. No matter what we have come through, there is always more.
This container, our bodies, and this bigger container, the planet, house us in a way that we can get all our needs met, if we just do the things that are aligned both with humanity and the planet. But human nature has a way of repeating trauma and injustice so often that we think that’s part of the deal we can’t get away from. In thinking about it, we get away from it by learning, by internalising, and by being open to more pain, trauma and injustice, simply by being open to life.
There are no sacrifices that we have made, no injustices that we have lived through that will guarantee us that, ok, we’re done with that - we don’t have to suffer any more! No, we will suffer, and suffer again, if we choose a path of growth. But the suffering becomes different if we stay open. It has context. It can be understood and it can be transformed into wisdom.
And that’s a beautiful garden to plant and reap.
The work is hard. So hard. It means being stone cold honest with ourselves and understanding our responsibility in every part of our lives, relationships and interactions. It requires self forgiveness, understanding, and love of all living things around us. It means we are going to fuck up. That we’re going to hurt people unintentionally or not, and that we are going to get hurt, unintentionally or not.
The work does not stop here. It continues throughout infinity. We open ourselves and accept that our energy, our existence is part of a vast, boundless ocean of love. And every step we take, every decision, every jump, every move forward brings us either closer to that ocean or hinders our path.
We get to decide. Staying open and vulnerable and risk losing and fucking up and moving toward the unlimited dimension of universal love? Or standing still?
Which will it be?
